The Start, I hope, after a long long time of things going wrong

Today I went to physio and had a long chat with them hopefully they'll put me through to FND specialists at some hospital where they have a department. We're going to work on my balance and they're going to rein me back in as I have good days and bad days. I need to break this cycle of good days and bad days, so yeah that'll be a good start to my new life.

Today I did only a couple of balancing exercises and I've just had lunch, when I got up my back started hurting so I'll take small painkillers and then rest for a while and see how that goes. I thought I'd better make a note of that as it wasn't really a lot. I'll have to see how this goes. They told me to keep a journal of what is happening so I thought I'd try and do this to remind me of how bad I was to hopefully how far I'll get at a later date.

So come tomorrow I'm going to start trying to walk around the green in front of my house, just a third of it. The goal is to be able do this every day.

Roll on tomorrow for day one.

Also it's been recommended to talk to someone again with my, guess you could say, mental health.

As my family say I put on this front when I'm on the phone and with other people. To them I seem as though I'm doing fine and people don't really realise how hard my life can be. Now there are a lot of people who can not get out of bed and are worse off than me but that doesn't make my life any easier for me, but that does motivate me to get on with this one along with the huge help and love from my lovely family and friends around me.

I do understand that GP's don't have a lot of time, especially the specialists, I just say a few words and they're off getting tests done so they can have more factual knowledge and images. I feel that the GP's and specialists don't always understand what I am going through as I do put on a front and am always happy and smiling in the presence of others. But in the cases for me, today anyway, the cardio rehab people and the physio people took two hours with me and probably left late. They saw through my facade but most importantly knew how much my life has changed that they thought it would be very beneficial for me. I did go to a therapist for a while after talking to the rehab people and it did do me a lot of good but maybe not as much as I thought or maybe I have slipped back a bit too.

Still I'll leave it there for now speak soon (really should say write soon).

Daron

p.s As you can tell, it's taken a long time to start this blog from when I first was going to start but l'm here now. Probably feeling in a better place than I was before to start this .

So here goes the rollercoaster of life we all kinda know.